The Right Fit

At its core, therapy is a relationship. Research shows that a successful working partnership is crucial in helping you to connect with, remain in and get the most value from your therapy. As you may be facing up to some painful difficulties or exploring troubling relationships, it’s essential that your companion on your journey of self-discovery is someone you trust, respect and who you feel understands you.

Therapy is, after all, aimed at helping YOU change YOUR life for the better, so it’s worth spending time to ensure you find the right ‘fit’ for your needs. You’ve probably done an internet search or looked on a counselling directory or register. But once you’ve typed in ‘find a therapist near me’ or ‘counselling in Hitchin’, and you’re faced with an array of websites and online profiles, what’s next?

It can be hard to determine at first glance whether a counsellor has the right qualities you need to form a good professional alliance. This is why some counsellors, like myself, offer you the opportunity to have a FREE introductory consultation. This allows you to get to know me a little and to ask any questions you may have. While this may not be a cast-iron guarantee that we’re a good match, it may help you narrow down your options when you’re trying to choose between different practitioners.

Here are 5 key ways that may help you decide on the right counsellor for you…

1. Think about what you want from therapy

   It’s completely OK to turn up to counselling without knowing exactly what you’re looking for. But, if by the end of your first meeting, you feel the counsellor was helpful in giving you a clearer picture of what you hope to achieve, this is a good predictor for ongoing work. If you don’t feel this way this may be a concern; having a sense of your expected outcomes is a good starting place for therapy so you both know what you’re working towards.

2. Does this therapist possess the potential to provide the help you’re looking for?
   Also consider whether this counsellor has potential to be helpful to you. It’s perfectly appropriate for you ask questions about training and experience so you can feel confidence in them being able to meet your therapeutic needs. Part of keeping ethical boundaries is the therapist being able to acknowledge that they might not have the expertise with your specific issue, so do not be alarmed if they refer you on to someone better qualified – this is not a judgement on you, but is in your best interests as a client.

3. Listen carefully to your own responses
   Reflecting on your own feelings about the therapist should be a top priority. Here are a few things that you might want to look out for during your first meeting: did the therapist interrupt you when you’re talking? Did the therapist respect your time by being prompt for your appointment? Did you feel seen and heard? It is paramount that you leave feeling you were listened to and were treated with respect, otherwise you won’t have confidence in your working partnership.

4. Take care to consider who you might work with best
   Is it important you work with a man or a woman, or someone who has experience of working with LGBGT+ clients? Would it make a difference to you if your counsellor was younger than you? Your faith may be an important aspect of your life and may affect your choice of therapist. While most counsellors limit information they share about themselves, they should be open to exploring your preferences from the outset.

5. Learn a little about your counsellor’s approach
   Therapists often specialise in specific areas, like family therapy, couples counselling, anxiety and depression or substance use. These areas should be listed on the therapist’s website or profile. It’s probably not wise to see someone with expertise in an area that does match your needs, so this should slim down your search. Differing types of and theoretical bases – such as psychodynamic, CBT, person-centred etc – can seem mind-boggling if you’re unfamiliar with such terms. You can ask a counsellor to explain their approach a little more, as it will help you ensure a better ‘fit’ between you.
   

   Therapy is your space; finding your best match is your right. That may mean shopping around until you discover the right fit.